Study Abroad: The First Three Weeks
Study Abroad: The First Three Weeks
The romanticism, growth, and independence of my newfound life.
During my first 3 weeks in Spain, I have collected many observations about my surroundings, mind, and body. Most of these thoughts are recorded through my journal entries, stories, music, lyrics, photography, Snapchat vlogs, and any other creative pursuit I have given energy to.
For some reason, I am more prolific here than I am at home. This could be attributed to any number of things, but nevertheless, I am thankful for the inspiration.
So, with that said, I move on to the romanticism, growth, and independence of my newfound life.
The Reality of Romanticism
In a simple definition, being abroad is to be on good terms with the willingness to look and sound like you have no idea what you are doing.
Although much of my time is dedicated to romanticizing my day-to-day, I also can’t help but notice how much has changed in so short a time. Some of which I did not anticipate.
Living in a big city is strenuous and exhausting. Only knowing the basics of the language spoken there makes every day even more difficult. I hope that time will lessen the difficulty, or rather that I get used to communicating in a restaurant or buying groceries with my language level.
It is hard to put into words what happens to your body and mind within the first few weeks in a new place.
At first, there is a lack of routine and endless possibilities. This leaves your mind and body wondering: should we sleep, eat, explore, or simply do nothing?
In my experience, there wasn’t a clear answer to those questions. It is total freedom in the biggest playground in the world. It is awesome, both in size and sheer prospects for the future.
The next step is finding your place. Where are you going to eat dinner, shop, buy a new SIM card, catch the metro to class, etc.? The main problem for me was an excess of options that left me standing frozen, unsure of myself.
There are times when a person speaks to me, but all I can repeat back is “no sé.” Then, there are times when the barrier of language causes a funny scenario ending with every party laughing at the confusion.
Moreover, It is displacing to be in a city where you never recognize another. I find myself wishing to turn a corner and see a familiar face staring back at me. But, then I remember, the only people I will recognize are those I have met during my time here.
This is a part of a larger conversation I need to have with myself. It is a reality I did not imagine or predict, and I am undecided about how it makes me feel.
Despite the initial growing pains, I recognize the city as a place filled with life. It’s like everyone is breathing at the same time and existing only for themselves. We all have places to be and a life outside of our daily metro stops.
All of a sudden, you find yourself a part of a bigger picture. I will only be here in a blink of an eye. A small blip in the history and future of this city. Despite this, the impact it has had on me will last for a lifetime.
The Price of Growth
As I believed before this trip, the best things happen when you allow yourself to be lost in a moment.
You must be okay with not being certain. You must be okay with letting go of everything you know in favor of everything that is going to help you grow.
It is in those times, when anything goes, where the magic happens, and I believe, the reason why travel is so fulfilling.
When you are always stuck in the same place with the same people with the same routine, not much can help you grow. Throwing yourself completely into the unknown is the most efficient.
This is not a novel idea; people have traveled, toured, and trekked long before I was even a thought. I am simply a copy of everyone that has done this before me, which in some ways, gives me the confidence to get lost, try new foods, befriend strangers, feel the embrace of loneliness, and be willing for any experience that gives space for change.
The Loneliness of Independence
There is something that I wrote to myself before embarking on my trip, it goes like this: “find peace in the loneliness of independence.” I did not know at the time how true those words were going to be so soon.
I have made friends and acquaintances over my short time here. But ultimately, I need to make choices for myself. Where will I go when I am not in class, how will I spend my limited funds, who will I spend my time with, and most importantly, how am I going to spend time with myself?
I intend to answer these questions in the coming months. I am starting 2023 and ending my senior year off with a bang. This is dream come true, and an opportunity that I do not take lightly.
I understood what encompassed this trip before making my decision to venture off. And, before I share my sorrows with another depressing line, I must exclaim that this experience is not a mistake.
Everything that I mentioned that is bad or unexpected does not make it my overall review. The hills of my emotions in the past 3 weeks have been nothing short of extraordinary. I can’t help but smile at the ground and marvel at how I made it here.
Although it has only been 3 short weeks, it feels longer. So much has happened since I left my parents at the airport, and so much will happen still.
So there it is; a conglomeration of my thoughts thus far. I close this newsletter with something I came up with while riding the Metro.
There you are again feeling the ebbs and flows of loneliness when all of a sudden you are taken aback by the sun in the sky, the day-to-day, and this new life that has been created.
